In true fashion I was awake before 6 this morning, and have been lounging with a cup of coffee in my living room while thinking of what adventures await me today. It’s sadly going to be a chilly day here in Southeast Missouri – only 57 degrees after a high of 80 yesterday! Probably not much work outdoors for me today, except for weeding the yard and fertilizing my roses. And I may be making a run to a garden center somewhere to pick up a new outdoor rug to replace the old one that has met the end of its useful life.
I also need to get the meal prepping done sometime today, and have the week’s meal plan to share with you. It will be short and sweet for us this week – the boys have Spring break from Thursday until next Tuesday so they go to their dad’s Wednesday night. Which means I only have to make one full meal this week! Then Michael and I will get a little time alone to celebrate our two year anniversary! It is actually on Easter Sunday, and I have the boys for Easter this year so I pick them back up on Saturday. So we are celebrating on Friday night…official plans as of yet undecided.
At any rate, here is the meal plan for this week:
Tempeh Tacos
As for the rest of the meals, they are largely improvised using ingredients I always have in the house. Like these tempeh tacos I made last night using the rest of a package of tempeh I had open, some spinach and arugula, and pickled red onions. I topped it off with fresh cilantro, salsa and avocado, and it was a really quick, easy and delicious dinner (sometimes I actually remember to snap photos!
Besides food, I’ve also been working hard outside. I’ve spread 45 bags of mulch so far, and need to pick up about 5-10 more. The lawn received its first mowing this week and is ready to be weeded this afternoon now that we’re due for a couple of dry days. I repaired my Strawberry beds (boards were falling off because of old rusty screws) and topped them off with some soil. I got my pots filled and ready to be planted with flowers in a couple more weeks when the danger of frost has passed.
I put out a new trellis for my clematis, and strung twine between the pea trellises for them to climb. The peas are already up an inch or two, so they’re doing fantastic! All of my greens have sprouted, I thinned my beets, and the green onions and carrots have finally broken through the soil in the last couple of days as well. The radishes are up and going strong, so I need to get outside here shortly and thin those as well. I’ve also removed all of the rock from the tomato bed, so I need to get the bone meal and fertilizer in place and till the soil under.
The rose bushes were trimmed back a couple of weeks ago and are ready to be fertilized (something else I’ll be doing today), and the hostas shoots have broken through the soil and new mulch. The last outside work on the agenda for today is to pull up the outdoor rug and toss it in the garbage because it’s reached the end of its useful life – it has molded over and can no longer be cleaned, so I’m heading out to buy a new one. Then I will be able to sit back and enjoy my patio again until it’s time to start planting flowers!
From top left: Strawberries, Peas, Arugula Sprouts, Clematis, Roses, Vinca
It feels SO good to grow food, and flowers. I’m hoping to focus more on flowers this summer since I have the veggie gardens where I want them. I have a butterfly bush and clematis so far, so I want to bring in some phlox, sunflowers, zinnias and other bee and butterfly drawing flowers. It’s a little tough in my yard because I don’t quite get enough sun to really make these plants happy, but I’m definitely going to do my best!
It’s now almost 10am, so I need to get myself to work in the kitchen. Then it’s off to the garden center and working more on the yard. Have a wonderful Sunday, and I will see you back here soon!
Or I guess afternoon by the time you will be reading this. It’s set to be an absolutely gorgeous Sunday here in Southeast Missouri! Yesterday Michael and I picked up 20 bags of mulch, some potting soil, rose food, lawn food, and Preen weed preventer. We spent our day together yesterday, and now today we’re each on our own to get some things done. It’s currently sunrise and pretty chilly outside, so I’m taking this time to get a blog post out for you and a little meal prep done for Michael, then it’s outside I go!
This has been quite the rough week – in case you noticed a Thursday post didn’t go out. I caught my youngest son’s cold and was sick Monday and Tuesday. I also had some teenager drama to deal with – I’ve been fortunate that both of my boys have had good heads on their shoulders their entire childhoods. And they still do, but my oldest pushed some boundaries and is trying to “spread his wings” as I heard it stated. And some of his judgment calls haven’t been the greatest.
I’m still fortunate that he isn’t doing anything bad, and a little correction now should resolve things. But it can be hard to switch to “tough mom” mode, particularly when he is so much like me and we are very close. But my first role in his life is parent, and sometimes the discipline must come out. It doesn’t come without a toll, however. I’ve not had anxiety in a very long time but I sure did this week. Being sick and dealing with something emotionally draining at the same time has been a major challenge on my stress levels and on my sleep.
It’s proving to be a slow recovery, especially on the sleep. I’m going to enact some sleep hygiene rules that I had set for myself while struggling with insomnia, to ensure that I don’t end up back in that state again. I am very lucky that I have an amazing and supportive human in my corner, too. Michael has been such a huge help, from talking me through things and giving me ideas, to just squeezing me tight and giving me some needed comfort.
The boys are at their dad’s for the weekend and I will be heading off to pick them up this afternoon. Tomorrow starts a brand new week, and I’m hoping that everything will start to move forward.
On the meal planning front, I actually didn’t plan anything for next week – I was sick on Tuesday, my normal meal planning/grocery order day. So I just threw a bunch of usual items into my order and decided I’ll wing it. If you’ve been around for a long time then you know I used to love creating recipes. But with Michael and Gabriel around now I find it’s a lot easier to plan ahead for so many people to find things that will please them all – especially Gabriel who is even pickier than Hunter was at that age, which I didn’t think was even possible!
This last week got completely away from me with everything that was going on. I had planned some quesadillas for one meal, and a lovely roasted veggie dish at another meal – and none of it got made! Which may be a plus, since I didn’t get to plan for this week. I can just make those meals for this week instead. The poor boys lived on sandwiches, leftover pizza that Michael had from the weekend before, and Chinese that I ordered on Monday, which was enough for two days.
I don’t recommend ordering out and avoid it except on occasion. But it is nice that the place I order Chinese takeout from has a vegan-friendly (although sadly definitely not oil-free) dish on their menu. It’s a tofu and veggie dish in a Hunan sauce that is pretty tasty. I always order with the noodles, too, instead of rice. Both boys, Michael and myself actually prefer the noodles to the rice, so it’s kind of nice to have something we all agree on!
While the meals didn’t get made this week (Michael’s dinner and lunch did, because I made it on the weekend before I got sick), here is the plan:
Here are the photos of the Salmon Salad and the Black Bean Salad, plus a stuffed sweet potato that I made for lunch one day and managed to snap a picture of to help fill in the gaps!
Miso Glazed Salmon with Spicy Greens Salad, Southwest Black Bean Salad, and Stuffed Sweet Potato
I’ve also been trying my hand lately at video shooting and editing, which it turns out I actually enjoy more than photography because there is just so much more creativity and fun things you can do with video. I’ve been shooting primarily on my iPhone for Instagram right now – no YouTube yet – but I’m loving making reels of my cooking and kitchen work. If you’re not following me on Instagram yet, I would love for you to see what I’ve been up to! You can check out my Instagram account at plantbasedloren. I just posted the latest reel over there of the healthy banana muffins I often make Michael for breakfast.
The one thing that has truly brought me some joy this week, is my Spring and Summer wardrobe makeover! I always add a few new pieces each year, but this year has been a bit of a wardrobe transformation with the change in work situations which is likely to be permanent. My professional wear has been retired to a rack in the basement, and I’ve been building a more fun, casual wardrobe since I’m now working from home.
I don’t have to worry about whether the outfits are A) business casual, or B) suitable to a dress code. That means I can buy tops that are V-cut, a little cropped, spaghetti strap, etc. I can wear shorts and cropped pants, and my skirts and dresses can be above the knee. It’s so freeing!
TJ Maxx Haul
Michael and I went to TJ Maxx yesterday to do a browse and I came home with a haul. Their dressing rooms are still closed because of Covid, so I have to buy, try on at home, and return. I ended up keeping about half of what I bought – three flirty, floral tops and a blue and white stripped dress that will look lovely with the new tan waist belt and sandals I have arriving soon from ThredUP. And I picked up a beautiful white Vince Camuto sweater – as if I really needed another white sweater!
I’ve ordered items from Chic Wish, petal & Pup, and ShowPo, and ordered a pair of white crop leggings from Amazon. My color palette is very much white, pink, sage and periwinkle for the upcoming Spring & Summer season. Now to hope that everything fits and there isn’t too much returning and exchanging!
Photo 1: top & skirts from Chic Wish, shorts from ShowPo Photo 2: sage dress from ShowPo, belt & sandals from ThredUP, periwinkle dress from Petal & Pup
I’ve never ordered from Petal & Pup before so I’m not sure what to expect from their dresses. But I have a lace top and pink skirt from Chic Wish that I am absolutely in love with, so I can’t wait for the new skirts to arrive! The ShowPo order I’m a little skeptical about – I’ve ordered from them several times, but the sizing is usually off because it’s an Australia-based company that doesn’t necessarily get their US sizes right. Sometimes my normal size fits and sometimes it’s tiny.
My normal size in the shorts already showed up in my email invoice as an AU size 6, and the current pair of shorts I have from them that just barely fit me say 8 on the tag – but the pink shorts also have an elastic waist so it might be okay – we shall see! The dresses are a toss-up. I bought in the same size as other tops and dresses I’ve ordered from there – sometimes they fit and sometimes they swallow me whole and I have to exchange for a smaller size. If the shorts and dress both fit and neither need exchanged, it will be a miracle.
That is the most frustrating part about ordering online – but honestly, the brick and mortar stores just can’t keep up with online fashion. I would love to purchase all of these lovely items from local stores, but they just don’t carry fashion like this. TJ Maxx is the only store in my town that has items that fit my style. We have a shopping mall, but it’s very hit or miss, and definitely geared more towards teens and 20-somethings.
We also have stores like Target & Kohls outside of the mall. But again, they are very hit or miss. Actually, Kohls is just a miss – they have a teenage girl section, and a frumpy older women’s section that offers very little for those of us aged from upper 20’s to upper 40’s. And they definitely don’t have much for small-framed, petite women like myself (anyone else in the 5’3 club??). Even their smaller sizes are still meant for women who are full-figured in the hips and thighs, which I frustratingly am definitely not.
I feel like these companies need to watch their online competitors and adjust accordingly if they hope to compete with a web-based world that is forcing their brick and mortar closures. The styles and the fits that they offer are lackluster in comparison.
The sun is up and shining brightly now (it’s nearly 9am), and it’s warmed us up to whopping 41 degrees. I need another 20 degrees to be comfortable out there, but by the time it’s that warm I will already be on the road. So I will have to bundle myself up and get to work. On the yard and garden plan for today:
Water my tiny little sprouting seedlings in the raised bed (we’ve had tons of rain but they’re hiding out under a cold frame/greenhouse cover)
fertilize my roses and mulch the beds around them
spread preen in the garden beds and lawn
start mulching the large bed in the front yard, and replace any landscape fabric that has ripped or shifted
if there is time left – mow the lawn and spray for weeds (I suspect this will need to wait for another day)
I also need to till up my tomato bed and work in the bone meal that I bought yesterday, but tomatoes won’t go in for about another month so I don’t need to be in a big hurry. I have pots needing filled with soil so they can be planted with flowers in another month or so once the lows begin raising up above 35 at night and the danger of frost is past.
At this time of year it really is more yard work than gardening. The grass is starting to come back to life – and the weeds always outpace the actual grass, so this is the time for weed control if I want to keep it from getting out of hand. I sow my grass seed in the fall so that it can sprout and take root before winter. That way I can spread pre-emergent weed control in the spring (this is the kind that prevents weeds that come up from seed, like crab grass, from growing and taking over the lawn) without having to worry about it killing my grass seed. I also spray a 2-4-D weed killer on the lawn to hit all of the broad-leaf weeds that come up from root rather than seed (goggles, gloves and mask are a must for this). Both the pre-emergent and the weed killer will need done again around the 1st of July . I also re-mulch everything since leaf cleanup around here sadly takes a lot of the mulch along with it.
About mid-April, the fun stuff begins! I get to plant the rest of my vegetables and pretty flowers. I’m planning to buy a new trellis for my clematis since it’s outgrown the one I had up for it. I’ll get to start more herbs in my herb garden too, and the strawberries and lilac bush should be in bloom. Since I’ve finally sorted out my garden situation (my back yard struggles for enough sun to grow vegetables, so I’ve had a lot of trial and error the last four years), I can start to work more on flowers and I’m very excited for this!
Okay lovelies, it’s time to stop talking and start doing! I’m headed to bundle up and get outside. Thank you for reading, and I will see you back here again soon!
It’s been another beautiful week, and I’m still flying high on the Spring vibes. I don’t think I realized just how negatively the winter affects me until it started to warm up again. I’ve planted my Spring garden, chipped and vacuumed up the lingering leaves, cut back my rose bushes, trimmed up the shrubs, and prepared my beds for mulch. I’ve also swapped out my closet – moving all of my winter clothing to the rack in the basement and bringing my warmer weather clothes up to my room, with just a few sweaters still hanging around.
I’ve been busy adding pieces to my wardrobe for Spring and Summer too, including a couple of new bathing suits, ahead of our June family vacation trip to Savannah and Tybee Island. There is so much to look forward to, especially now that vaccines are going out and COVID is going down. They’ve even lifted the mask order here in my town, which might be a bit premature yet but is a very positive sign of some normalcy to come.
This week in food:
That’s it, I give up! I’m sorry friends, I just can’t seem to remember to take photos of our meals on weeknights! I get pictures of the dishes I meal prep on weekends, and occasionally even remember to snap a photo of my lunch. But I get busy making dinner for the fam and the last thing on my mind is pausing to take pictures (it takes time to set up a scene and snap lots of photos to get that perfect one). I’ll share the week’s photos with you here, and I’ll share the meal plan. There just won’t be photos for everything on the plan. This is my weakness, and I’ve accepted it!
The Meal Plan
The Photos
Banana Muffins, Black Bean Cauliflower Burrito Bow, and Coconut Shrimp Curry
Life & Things
I’m probably really late to the game on this one, but I’ve discovered Brene Brown. I know, I know…old news by now. But I never did get around to checking out the hype until an Instagram post led me to some podcasts, which took me to my library’s Overdrive app where I placed holds on her audio books. Two have already become available – I finished one and am in the middle of the other.
I’ve gone through so much personal growth in my life over the last several years that sometimes it feels like I’ve nothing left to learn – which is never true! I’ve discovered several things in her books that are new perspectives for me and are changing the way I look at things, why I do things, and how I can look at and do things differently to be the best mom/girlfriend/friend/family member possible. There is something about the idea of becoming my best self that always keeps me thirsty for new information, and open to putting it into practice.
There is something to be said for our default settings. We can read, listen and watch all we want…but when it comes down to it, our brains go into auto-pilot and we default right back to what we know and where we’re comfortable. It takes lots of work, conscious effort and practice to change that default setting, but I never met a challenge I didn’t look forward to taking head-on.
Brene’s work is teaching me new things about communication…something I thought I was already pretty well-versed in. How to ask questions, get more details, not make assumptions or “make up stories” due to lack of information. I think my favorite thing in the current book I’m listening to, Daring to Lead, is asking “what done looks like”. An example she gave that I just heard last night, was when someone asked her to gather up all the invoices and have them ready by 4:00. She said okay, no problem, and completed the task. But when she handed them over, he was frustrated because it wasn’t what he needed.
He needed invoices going all the way back to 2005, but he hadn’t specified that and she didn’t ask for more information, so they both ended up frustrated. By asking “what does done look like”, in other words, what do you need me to do for this task to be considered done, it opens up communication that allows you to work together and bounce ideas off of each other so that each person is set up for success and can get it right. I realized this is something I’ve witnessed in my own organization. What someone expects and what they actually ask for don’t always line up, and when they get frustrated it leaves me thinking “well I’m not a mind-reader!”
The book has given me a lot of ideas on how to more effectively communicate at work. But it’s also given me a lot of ideas for how to handle communication in my personal relationships, too.
My oldest son, Hunter, is 16 now. He’s had his driver’s license for about a month, we have a checking account opened up for him, and he just started his new job at a local pizza place on Friday. In two years he will be legally an adult, and I’ve recognized the need for him to outgrow his childhood – which frankly breaks my heart to even think about – and start taking on some adult responsibilities. He has a job, a car, a checking account, and just filled out his first tax forms yesterday before leaving for his second day of work. Like it or not, adult responsibilities are here and he needs to know how to manage them.
It’s hard to think about, because I know that once you become an adult, enter the workforce and take on responsibilities, there is no going back. The freedom of being a child and getting to play all the time with no responsibilities is over, and I feel sad at the loss of those childhood days for him. I feel even worse that I’m going to be that “bad guy” who forces him to give it up and start moving into adulthood. But I also know that it’s the right thing to do, because the time has come for it to be necessary. He needs to be prepared for adult life, and it’s my job as a parent to prepare him.
He came home from work Friday night and said that since he’s working Saturday evening he’s planning on hanging out with friends in the morning (the kid never gets out of bed before noon on a Saturday!). He asked me to make sure he gets up at 8:30. I thought about it for a second, then I said “you have a cell phone, set yourself an alarm.” He said if he did he’d just sleep through it. I took the opportunity to tell him that he’s becoming an adult now and he’s not going to have me to make sure he gets out of bed every morning, he needs to learn to do that for himself.
When Saturday morning came, I heard him up at 8 in the bathroom. I thought well good, he’s gotten himself up. But then he went back to bed and I didn’t hear from him again until after noon when I got home from dropping Logan off at Grandma’s house. He asked why I didn’t get him up. I said “I told you that if you wanted to be up by 8:30 that you need to set an alarm and get yourself up. If you chose not to do that, that’s on you. You were up at 8 and you went back to bed. If you wanted to do something with friends you should have stayed up.”
Just before leaving for work he complained about how his whole day was wasted and he didn’t get to do anything. I pointed out that he was going to need to make adjustments to account for this new step in his life. Stop staying up until 4am and sleeping until noon, make plans with friends for during the day, then be home on time to be ready to leave for work at 3:45.
I’m seeing this week that he has a lot to learn about responsibility, and he’s going to need clear communication from me about what responsibility looks like and what will be expected of him. He is starting to learn already, though. He woke up at 8 again this morning, and he stayed up because he didn’t want to waste his day off. That’s one lesson learned already, but I need to tackle with him both time and money management.
It’s a little overwhelming to think about, because I feel like this stage snuck up on me. We spent so much time focusing on his permit and driving hours and getting his license, that we didn’t really think about what all comes with it. Now here we are – a whole new side of this parenting coin. I’m confident, though, that all will go well. He’s a good kid and he’s plenty smart enough to figure it all out.
If you have experience with this stage of parenting, please leave me any tips or advice in the comments! Otherwise, I wish you a lovely and relaxing Sunday. I’ll talk to you again soon!
I hope you’ve had a lovely week! I’ve just finished my weekly food prepping and am now writing to you before I go visit my grandparents, then pick up my boys from their dad. First things first, I will start with what is on the menu for this week!
I’ve just finished prepping a balsamic three bean salad for lunches this week, which is a recipe I got from Taste of Home. It is a blend of green beans, kidney beans and cannellini beans, which I put on a base of spinach and arugula mix and topped with some chopped red onion and cherry tomatoes for a full lunch salad. And as always, I’ve blended him up a few smoothies in mason jars for breakfast.
For our dinners I’m testing out a plant based alfredo sauce recipe with a cashew base, and I’m also making a pork tenderloin for the boys (I make them one meat-friendly meal per week) with a plant based scalloped potato recipe which I am also testing for the first time! I have some tempeh for myself to sub in for that meal. And for Michael’s dinner prep for the week I’ve made balsamic chicken and vegetables from Better Homes & Gardens – except I left out the Italian dressing because of all the oil and instead used a white wine vinegar blended with Italian Seasonings, a bit of Stevia and a splash of water. I also air fried the chicken tenderloins to avoid the oil.
Balsamic Chicken & Vegetables
Balsamic Three Bean Salad
Guess who remembered to take pictures this week! If you remember from last week’s meal plan, I made tomato soup one night and falafel gyros another night. I actually did take photos and will share them below this paragraph. I think that next Sunday’s blog I may actually skip the meal prep so that I can get one week ahead. I think it would be more beneficial to you to see photos of the meals that I’m sharing in my Sunday blog, instead of meals that don’t match the meal plan. I will just have to make sure I commit myself to snapping those photos!!
Tomato Basil Soup & Salad
Falafel Gyro with Salad & Fries
I talked in last Sunday’s blog about new bedding I had purchased, and I have to tell you that everything I ordered from Amazon ended up being returned. The all-season down alternative comforter I purchased was way too hot. I am always freezing and it takes a LOT for me to get too hot – so if I’m saying it’s too hot, then it’s really bad! I returned the comforter and opted for this light weight down alternative comforter from Target. It was nice to be able to just walk into the store, buy it, take it home and see if I liked it. It turned out to be absolutely perfect and I couldn’t be more thrilled with it! I managed to pick it up on the last day of their online sale ($15 off), and since the store will price match their online prices I got it for the online sale price.
The duvet cover was another travesty – I’m learning that in addition to electronics, you also cannot trust the reviews for bedding on Amazon! It was a linen/cotton blend and reviews were stellar – almost all five star. It even had 4.6 stars for softness, which blows my mind because that was the roughest, scratchiest fabric I’ve ever slept under! It was like sandpaper against my chin and neck all night, so I returned it immediately. I searched through Wayfair, Overstock, Macy’s and Bed, Bath & Beyond. I even found one I loved at Pottery Barn, but of course the price point was outrageous there – almost $200 for just the duvet, and even more for the pillow shams which are sold separately – so I said nope to that one.
I decided to give my trusty ol’ Target a try again. I figured I could at least feel the fabric in person before buying it, and if it didn’t work I didn’t have to ship anything back, I could just return it to the store. I chose this white waffle weave duvet cover which is currently on sale for 50% off (score! I spent half as much on bedding at Target as I did on Amazon!), and I wasn’t sure about it at first. It only has ties in the corners, none on the sides (I figured I can sew some on if needed), but it turns out that it stays in place perfectly well without any on the sides. I had to sleep under it for a night to see what I really thought – and I love it! It is perfect and I am thrilled with my new bedding!
Speaking of a bedroom update, Michael and I had our kid-free Saturday yesterday, which is one of two days per month that we spend with each other. Last weekend we took a big step forward – we went from dreaming of one day having a future together, to setting a timeline in place and starting to plan for the future. I made a list this week of the things I need to do to my house to have it ready to sell in two years, and Michael and I ventured out to do a little pricing. He needs to replace flooring in his basement, so we did some pricing on that. We also stopped by a furniture store to price living room and bedroom furniture to help us figure out how much money we need to save over the next couple of years to buy a new home, and be able to furnish and update it. There is still lots to discuss and plan, but we got a good start!
We also ventured out to a couple of local shops to pick up some oyster mushrooms and red miso for miso soup. And we found some veggie dumplings at the Asian market so we had those with our soup. For dinner I made the seafood cioppino as planned, but I skipped the beans and ended up sticking to the seafood. I eat meat about once per week, so last night was my night. It was so good and I very much enjoyed it! Michael has the leftovers, though, because one serving was enough for me.
I almost forgot! One more update from last week – Michael’s car. It turns out that it was not his transmission, but a broken axle. A much, much less expensive fix and the car drives on. Luck was definitely in his favor!
And now if you’ll excuse me, I have a video about my fruit and veggie wash to edit for Instagram, and a few more episodes of The Mary Tyler Moore Show to watch before I finish the series. Happy Sunday!
It is another Sunday, and another morning of meal prepping is now behind me. Fruits and veggies are washed for the week, and Michael’s breakfasts, lunches, and a dinner are sitting in his fridge. The meals have also been planned for the week, and the groceries purchased and ready to prepare them. I plan two meals for us to have per week as a family, plus the meal I make for Michael to eat on throughout the week when we aren’t having dinner together. Also since next weekend we are kid-free, we get to have our date night. Instead of going out, we decided to eat in because he’s been craving “that seafood tomato stuff” I made him a couple of times before. He also has crab legs in his freezer he’s been itching to make. So we’re going to have a seafood night – although for me I’ll only have a few bites of the seafood, and will be using beans in the same broth for my main dish. Here is the weekly plan:
One of these days I will get better at remembering to take photos, but today was not that day! I only remembered photos when I came here to finish blogging, and the food was cooked, done and at Michael’s house. I get so focused on the cooking that I forget to photograph it – and you would be shocked at how time consuming it is to actually pause to get good blog-worthy food shots! It is my plan to share my weekly meal prep photos with you here, however, so I am going to make myself do better at remembering.
I did make a delicious lasagna this week that I remembered to take photos of! If you missed it, I shared that recipe on a post earlier this week, which I have linked here.
Moving away from the food front, it was another eventful week. I started reading The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton and am already halfway through. I also finished my annual tradition of writing letters to my boys. Each year in the first week (or so) of January I write letters to my boys highlighting accomplishments and changes they made over the last year, and giving them advice for their futures. My plan is to deliver all of the letters to them in one large envelope when they move out on their own to start their lives as adults.
Writing these letters also led to a junk drawer clean-out, which was rather therapeutic. I write these letters each year and stash them in the drawer, but there are so many now (this is year number seven) that it was time to get them all in order and put them in a better place. So I purged and sorted the junk drawer and found all of the previous six years of letters and started an envelope for each child, placing the letters inside by oldest to newest.
This was also the week for something overdue. When it comes to style – both home and wardrobe – I like to go with timeless pieces so I can purchase once and use until it’s worn out, instead of just for a season as is the case with trendy items. As a result, the pretty white comforter I’ve been using is finally reaching the end of its useful life – or at least its aesthetically pleasing life. It will still do its job in keeping me warm, but after six years it has finally become discolored at the top where I grab it to pull it up, and then rest it against my face while I sleep. Even bleaching it doesn’t help anymore, and threads are starting to come out, so it was time to retire it and bring in something new.
Before I had that comforter, I had a down comforter for several years. I loved having a duvet cover I could slip off to wash because comforters are a tight squeeze in the washer and I’d rather not have to go to a laundromat to use an extra-large washer and dryer. So I’ve decided to go back that route, except this time I purchased a down alternative comforter. I did a little research on down comforters and learned that they stopped live plucking back in 2014…but they instead pluck the feathers from dead geese that have been mass farmed for food. My personal preference is to give as little support as possible to the mass farming industry that is not only cruel, but also largely responsible for climate change as well as risk for virus outbreaks just like the pandemic we are currently experiencing.
So for ethical reasons I ordered this down alternative comforter from Amazon, and a linen blend duvet cover that arrived yesterday and I’m returning for another. I loved the texture and style, but I ordered a natural color thinking it would be a pretty neutral contrast with my white furniture. But the color just wasn’t right in my room. I called my boys into my room to get their opinions and they both agreed that they liked white better. So I started a return and ordered this white linen blend duvet instead to replace it. The comforter arrives sometime today, and the new duvet will be here tomorrow. I will be sure to share my review of both once I get to test them out.
Another exciting order finally arrived this week. I ordered a blackhead remover from Vumae Skin during the week of Thanksgiving that was lost by USPS (I ‘m sure you’re shocked and dismayed by this), so they had to send a new one. It came via Amazon Prime this time and arrived in two days. I’ve been wanting one for so long, and this one was 60% off so I pulled the trigger. My youngest son and I both have acne prone skin, so we’ll both benefit from it. We each used it for the first time, and my skin felt awesome afterwards! It removed dirt, dead skin and gunk from my pores. It exfoliated my skin and left it feeling soft, and the natural oils seemed to return once the dead skin was gone. The one I purchased is no longer available, but there are so many of these on the market that it is easy to find one if you’d like to give it a try. Walmart even has a few, so there are low price point options as well as the fancy high-end ones (mine cost me $40 but was originally $100).
This weekend proved to be even more eventful. Yesterday Logan and I joined Michael and his kids to help remove cabinets and clean out storage at his grandparents house. They’ve moved into assisted living and his dad and stepmom are working to get the house ready to sell. They’re having new cabinets installed and the floor refinished. so the old cabinets had to go. Michael always wanted to buy his grandparents house when the time came so he wanted me to see it. We’ve been together almost two years, and we know that we want to have a home together, we just are not in a rush to do it because we both own our homes and have kids, so it’s not just us and not just a matter of one of us moving in with the other. We’d have to both sell our homes and use the equity to buy a home big enough for six.
Talking about this “in the future” is as far as we had discussed so far, but the topic came up seriously yesterday. The house was actually perfect. It met all of my musts for a house – an L shaped kitchen with a huge island, a dining room large enough for a big table and a buffet, a master bedroom big enough for a king bed and a closet big enough for all of our clothes, and a tree-free yard where I can grow a successful garden. It also met Michael’s requirements – enough bedrooms for each kid to have their own room and the possibility for a large stand-up shower in the master (it doesn’t have that currently, but could easily have one put in).
It also is on a golf course – hole 9 is basically in the back yard – so Michael would be thrilled. And it has a paved path for golf carts that I could do my daily walks on. The entire back of the house is filled with windows and skylights, with a deck that stretches the width of the house and a concrete patio on the walkout basement below that could be easily screened in for when mosquitoes get bad in the summer. They also already have to redo the kitchen, so if we were to buy it we could select the finishes – so not only would I have the perfect kitchen layout, but I could actually have the kitchen of my dreams because it’s a blank slate.
In the same day we went from seriously considering it, to talking ourselves out of it completely. The struggle is – it isn’t in the town where we currently live. We are in Cape Girardeau and the house is in Jackson. They are right next door to each other in the same county, but they each have their own school district. Which means if we moved there the boys would no longer be able to go to their current school. And unlike when we left Perryville to move to Cape, they don’t want to change schools now. Hunter is a sophomore in high school and Logan starts high school next year. They love their school and their friends and don’t want to start over somewhere else – and I don’t blame them.
We could try to use a family member’s address to keep them in the Cape school district, but if we were found out they’d be left with no choice but to change schools and that’s a risk I’d rather not take. Michael briefly considered going ahead and buying the house himself, but with the equity from his house only (since I would be staying in mine instead of selling it for a down payment), and paying the mortgage by himself for four years until I could move in, it would be a stretch to afford it on his own for that long.
And then…as we were in the car talking about the kitchen remodel while going to swap out the empty propane tank from the back porch heater, we were brought back to reality. As we were turning into the gas station, there was suddenly a loud bang from underneath our feet, followed by grinding and shuddering as the car slowed to a stop in front of the gas pump. If there was any doubt that it was the transmission, it was confirmed when he put it in park, got out of the car, and it started to roll backwards so I reached over and pulled the emergency break. Every gear was gone…no park, reverse, drive…nothing.
The car has a crazy amount of miles on it because he drives 35-40 miles one way to work every single day, so it was probably due for something to go wrong and yesterday proved to be the day. It is now at the shop awaiting opening tomorrow for diagnosis and repair. It’s intended to be his daughter’s car come July when she turns 16 and he’ll be getting a new one, so on the plus side now her car will have a fresh new transmission!
The situation reminded us that all the dreaming in the world about a future home is fine, but it doesn’t need to be a sudden or rushed decision because life has ways of throwing us curve balls. We need to plan and prepare. We need to talk about blending not only homes, but shared finances as well. We need to prepare our houses to sell, then actually put them on the market and sell them. And then we’ll need to find the right home to move into. A lot needs to happen before we get there, and we are in no big hurry to take on all of that stress. It was the perfect house, in the perfect location…but in the wrong town and at the wrong time.
I will leave you there, dear friends, in the hopes that the upcoming week will be less eventful than yesterday! Tomorrow is a holiday so I’m off work and the kids are off school, so the week will start off on a peaceful note. I hope you enjoy your Sunday and have a great week ahead.
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